miami.

Yesterday we made the long journey to the Miami VA. Boy, was it long. We left home at 6am and didn't get back into town until 6pm. Mr. M was of course, unable to drive, so I had to do all the driving and was completely exhausted. The last time we went, I was allowed to sit with Mr. M, and relax and prepare for the drive home. This time however, they decided that I was not allowed to stay, so I was left to wander the hospital alone. I tried to study, but the cafeteria got too loud when lunchtime rolled around. There were waiting rooms, but the chairs were uncomfortable. So I eventually wandered. At least I got some exercise!

I did visit Mr. M every so often, to see if he needed me to bring him some food or a drink, and just to see how the infusion was going. I may have mentioned before that the second infusion is usually the scariest, because Mr. M can have an allergic reaction to the medication. But things went well. He did have high blood pressure, which concerned the doctor, but it did go down, and they eventually let me stay the last half hour of the infusion. That was a blessing, because I got to sit in a big, squishy recliner and took a nap! After that, I felt much better.

There were some other complications that bugged (the VA always has complications that bug), but other than that things went well. In fact, two good things came out of this visit.

1. We were able to get a Spinal Cord Injury patient parking sticker. Sure this seems trivial, but we were happier than ever to get it. Parking at the Miami VA is a complete nightmare, even if you are handicapped. But not every person who is handicapped has a spinal cord injury, which MS patients are considered to have, so we were eligible for a "special" handicapped parking spot. Hooray! This means no more driving around aimlessly, hoping that someone will leave so that we can get ANY kind of parking spot.

2. Mr. M's new neurologist, who resides at the Miami VA, and who I just LOVE, agreed to help us get Social Security Disability for Mr. M! What a blessing! His grumpy neurologist in Palm Beach, intelligent as she may be, does not have the bedside manner that this woman has. We tried to get a letter from her in the past, and she actually refused. But now we have someone on our side. This is the third attempt, after all. Now we just have to convince the lawyer to take our case. The one we originally found had to refer us to someone else, and they never called us back, so now we are stuck with a nation-wide firm, who hopefully has time for us.

Things are still hard, but every now and then things seem to look up. I know someone on the other side is watching out for us.

denied. twice.

Have any of you tried to get social security disability? We have. Twice. Both times my husband was denied. Both times, their reasoning was that his "condition" was thought to not last longer than 12 months. Huh?! They also suggested jobs that THEY thought he could do, like we hadn't thought of them before! Seriously. WHO makes these decisions??? I don't understand it. I see what my husband has to go through on a day-to-day basis. THEY get my husband evaluated by some random doctor who doesn't know anything about my husband's health history. For all we know, those doctors might not even be fluent in the symptoms and devastating affects of MS. But that is how it is done. If there is anybody out there who knows of an MS patient who has actually been approved for social security disability, I'd like to hear about it.

As for us, it's not like we are just trying to get "free" money. I know that there are people out there who do that, but we are not one of them. My husband worked for many years after his diagnosis, and believe me, he would much rather work than be a victim of this debilitating disease. We have had several conversations about this topic, and he feels more like a failure as a husband and father because he can't provide for his family. I am fine with going to work, but I have to finish school first so that I can get a good enough job that will support us.

It's just all so frustrating. If there is someone else out there who needs it more than us, then fine. I understand, and I want them to have it. But for now we are barely surviving on what little monthly income we do have. And a little extra would definitely help. However, I am truly grateful for what the Lord has blessed us with. I realize that we have more than some people do and I know things could always be worse (though sometimes that is hard to remember when you are debating which bill to pay!). If nothing else, we have each other. And that is what life is all about. Family. Love. Kindness. We believe that families are forever, and enduring to the end is what we are focusing on.